I was weak, I was scared, I was young
When I fought you with silence
When I left you undone
I was hurt, I was torn, and ashamed
I didn't mean to betray you
But I could not explain
Did you know what you had done?
And the dark web we spun
And did you see how we had died?
Our words buried us alive
I was lost and emerged on a new side
Tore you out of my chest to be free
You were my friend but I could not surrender
But just the same it felt like defeat
I was all , in my head, on my own
Started talking in circles
Far from any unknown
I was all, underground, under siege
Had to fight my way conscious
Recall what I still believe
I couldn't see what I had done
And how my days were reruns
How my dreams had fallen through
That I needed something new
I was lost and submerged on the wrong side
Bound in cloth where my eyes ought to be
Needed friends but I had none beside me
And all the weight felt like defeat
I wanted to believe I could
Still become the man that
I was not ashamed of
Didn't have to defend and
I was getting sick
I was learning to die
Staying in one place
Learning to live a lie
I was lost and emerged on a new side
Headed east, left my home, to be free
I was told that I should learn to surrender
But there's no way I would concede
credits
from Coma,
released October 1, 2015
Joel Hinojosa - voice, guitar, bass, ukulele, keyboards
Jenny Coker - voice
Hana Piranha - violin
Lance Allen - mandolin
Patrick Marmorat - lap steel guitar
Plavakuca - pedal steel guitar
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